I want you to promise me that you're going to be good to yourself this year. I know I sound like a Hallmark card, but it's too: This year, give yourself the credit you deserve, and realize that you're much more beautiful, amazing, and strong than you even realize. Before you roll you're eyes at me (or should I say the computer) I want to explain why I'm on the "be good to yourself" kick.
My good friend and fellow author Elizabeth Eulberg has a new book out called Prom & Prejudice (which you should read and you will love!) and in honor of its release she asked a bunch of authors to share their prom photos.
My first thought was: Please, God, NO.
You see, I don't have warm and fuzzy feelings about the prom like a lot of people do. My big crush, my high school boyfriend (we only dated mere months, mind you, but in my mind that was HUGE), dumped me that night. He was gentleman enough to spend the rest of the weekend doing prom activities with me, but looking back, I probably should have kicked him to the curb. My heart was wounded for a while after that. I kept trying to figure out what went wrong between us. The breakup HAD to be all my fault. There was something wrong with ME! Not HIM. I thought I was too chunky. I hated my taste in clothes. Maybe it was because I had awful, poufy hair, or because I wasn't funny enough, not cute enough, too sheltered, too sweet--you name it, I was convinced it was the reason we no longer were a 'we'. It took me a while to realize that sometimes things just don't work out. People don't click, and that's okay because I went on to bigger and much better things. But prom talk? I'm still not a fan.
This week was the first time I looked at that prom photo in almost two decades (you do the math). Now I kind of wish I had looked at it sooner because when my mom found my old prom photo and showed it to me, I was shell-shocked.
This was the girl I disliked so much?
I'd love to look like that girl now!
I thought I was chunky? I'm not chunky at all! I'd love to fit into that dress now! And my legs!! Look closely! I had decent legs! My hair is big, okay, and sure I'm wearing a pink dress that is way out of style now, but I look pretty good for 1992!
I wish I had realized all this back then. Maybe I would have been better to myself after that breakup. Maybe I would have found my confidence sooner. Thankfully I did get it at some point or I wouldn't have been able to do all the things I went on to do like interview some of my favorite stars like Reese Witherspoon or Orlando Bloom, or hang out backstage at a concert Justin Timberlake or hang out in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival.
I did amazing things that I probably never would have done if I dated a guy who didn't believe in me. And the writing I wanted so badly? That came too, didn't it?
So give yourself some credit this year, will you? Promise not to beat yourself up over what you wish you had, or what kind of body you're lacking, or about that boy that doesn't realize how amazing you truly are. You ARE amazing. I know it, and you know it, or at least you will someday. Hopefully it won't take almost twenty years and an old prom photo to figure that out.
Happy 2011!
