Do you guys remember that song from, I think, Girl Scouts? Or maybe it was Brownies. Wherever it comes from, the point is, I can remember everyone singing it together: "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold."
Cheesy, yes, but totally true too. I've found as I grow older it's harder to make new friends. Maybe it's because I spend my days hunkered down at my computer in solitary confinement, but even on the days I venture out, I really don't have the nerve to start chatting up the woman on the laptop at the next table at Panera Bread.
When I think about my new friends--the ones that have come along since I've had kids--I realize I met them all through my children. That's right, the kids are playing friend matchmaker now! You tend to gravitate toward the moms that are most like you, that share your interests and (I hate to say it) your parenting style.
But the older friends, the ones I've had since college, high school and even pre-school (yes, it's true! My friend Joyce and I have known each other since we were four.) are the ones that stick like Crazy Glue even if you annoy the heck out of them sometimes. There's a great comfort in that, I have to say. To be able to call one and cry over something silly like an American Idol contestant, or rant about something that happened at school drop-off or give a passionate argument on why I have to have these super expensive rain boots even though I have a fabulous other pair--it's just the greatest thing in the world. (Husbands are SO not girly that way. My husband wouldn't know what rain boots I wanted even if I mentioned them a thousand times before).
I get a little sadder though when I think about the friends that I've sort of let drift away over the years. Yes, some you just grow apart from, others move away (physically and mentally), and there are still others, I can't for the life of me remember why we stopped being friends in the first place. Perfect example: My friend E. It's her birthday today, which is why I'm thinking about this friend business a little more than normal.
I'll give you the backstory: E and I were part of a little clique back in sixth grade. We did everything you'd think we'd do together: sleepovers, cheesy video singalongs at the local amusement park, buying identical shirts...you know the drill. Then one day, something changed. For the life of me, I couldn't tell you what happened, but all I know is that I (pause for giant gasp) left their lunch table and never went back. Moving to a new lunch table was a huge deal, of course, and things changed radically between me and my old friends. The three remaining girls were close friends all through high school. We were never sworn enemies, thank God, because E and I were never that type to feud, but we just didn't hang out anymore either. I always wondered if high school would have been a little bit different if I'd stayed friends with her, or if I would have gone my own way eventually anyway.
Then six years ago, she Facebook'd me (yes, I'm a FB statistic!). She was living near me again, we both had boys pretty much the same age and our lives seemed to be mirror images of each other. When we got together with the kids, we clicked again. It was if no time had passed. Today she's one of the first people I text when I'm having a crappy day, the one I call I need to get something off my chest, and she's the most giving person I know. She's one of my closest friends again and I have to wonder why did we waste so much time?
So here's my little piece of high school advice again (and I say "again" because I'm assuming you read my prom blog): If you're feuding with one of your friends, take a deep breath, take a step back, and think about what your life would be like without that person in it. Sometimes whatever you're fighting about (if you even remember what you're fighting about!) just isn't worth it. Let it go. Move back to the lunch table and move on. I'm so glad, after almost fifteen years, E and I did.
